All for love, a Father gave
For only love can make a way
All for love, the heavens cried
For love was crucified

And how many times have I broken Your heart
Still You forgive if only I’d ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me

EVERYTHING I NEED IS YOU,
MY BEGINNING, MY FOREVER
EVERYTHING I NEED IS YOU

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angels’ song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

All for love a Savior prayed…
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw man to You…

====>> I cried, when I first heard this song. It really moved me. I can’t help but wonder “how many times have I broken God’s heart” and how unworthy I am for His undying love.

I feel such a failure. I know that I have a gone astray and disappointed God, once more. Should I point anyone to blame? Nah… it’s all me! I still can’t find it in my heart to truly forgive and forget all those who have hurt me in the past and its rather difficult to trust anyone again after all those betrayals. I just don’t have the heart like God, and many times I pray for healing and restoration but somehow I’m just not there yet.

Its scares me that I feel very far apart from God and I don’t know why do I feel numb or probably I chose not to feel anything anymore just to save myself for another misery. Right now, I know I’m fine. I’m actually doing great and I’m happy. Then why do I still find it exhausting?? Because at the end of the day I still know what matters the most, that is to be with God.

There’s nothing I want more than to live the life that God wants for me but I’m way out of my path. I don’t think I’m lost, I know where I should go but somehow I got stuck and trapped within the walls I’ve created for myself. In time, when I’m ready in God’s perfect timing I will embrace the road that leads to Him again. Till then.